Resilience is not a trampoline, where you’re down one moment and up the next. It’s more like climbing a mountain without a trail map. It takes time, strength, and help from people around you, and you’ll likely experience setbacks along the way. But eventually you reach the top and look back at how far you’ve come.
Katie Hurley, LCSW
Resilience: positive adaptation despite adversity.
What have you experienced in your life that has been really hard? In those moments, what got you through? What do you choose in those moments when it doesn’t feel safe/secure or you have a huge loss? How have you built resiliency? In our experience, we have found that having practices and people to easily fall back on is key to overcoming adversity.
First, go back to the beginning of your life. Are you aware of your inner child? Your inner child is with you forever and the first 5 years of life are critical for how you trust people and how you live your life. There are beliefs, behaviors, and patterns that we have hardwired in us from our childhood that are holding us back and not allowing us to become even more resilient and grow into who we were created to be. We are the way we are because of our childhood and we must consciously be aware of it if we want to do better and be better.
What does this work look like? It looks like taking time to quiet the outside noise and turn inward. Figure out who you are. Explore yourself and learn what’s important to you and work on connecting to that. Take the time to listen to yourself. What does your inner being need? What does your soul need to thrive? Knowing yourself is critical when it comes to navigating difficult times. How do you want to feel and what does it take to get there? Ask yourself, “what do I need in my life to feel whole, what lights my soul on fire?” How can you get back into your body and reconnect to your purpose?
We do this work because theres infinite possibilities of what we can do with our life. It’s important for us to do better and be better, so we can serve better. We have learned that it takes working through were you came from so you can live from a place of abundance instead of continually thinking you were a victim of your past. You can’t have closure with your past if you can’t acknowledge it. How do you push past when you don’t even know why your stuck? Forgive the people who have wronged you so you can live from a place of peace. Acknowledge what’s keeping you where you’re at and learn more about your inner child and how you’re wired. You have the option to be free from these things and to be in a more loving peaceful place with yourself.
Tools that help us build resiliency-
- Positive role models/mentors
- Gratitude
- Morning routine
- Faith
- Exercise
- Meditation
- Personal development (books/podcasts)
- Therapy
- Serving others
- Asking for help
- Self-awareness of who we are and our needs
Types of Resilience
- Psychological– People who exhibit psychological resilience develop coping strategies and capabilities that enable them to remain calm and focused during a crisis and move on without long-term negative consequences.
- Emotional– Emotionally resilient people understand what they’re feeling and why. They tap into realistic optimism, even when dealing with a crisis, and are proactive in using both internal and external resources.
- Physical– refers to the body’s ability to adapt to challenges, maintain stamina and strength, and recover quickly and efficiently. It’s a person’s ability to function and recover when faced with illness, accidents, or other physical demands.
- Community– refers to the ability of groups of people to respond to and recover from adverse situations, such as natural disasters, acts of violence, economic hardship, and other challenges to their community.
- Community, Cultural, and Systemic– We want to acknowledge that our discussion on resilience is serving the purpose of reflection and self-growth- as white women, we know that the resilience required for community, cultural, or systemic shifts is astronomical and we will have a more…
- Individual Focus– where we discuss our personal experiences and strategies to help build skills around resilience
5 Pillars of Resilience- Bounce Back Project
The Bounce Back Project was created by a team of physicians, nurses, hospital leaders, staff and community partners in MN. Together, their mission is to help people build resilience.
- We’ve all heard the saying “when life give you lemons, make lemonade.” We also know that it’s not quite that simple. Bounce Back Project™ hopes to give everyone the lemon squeezer and the pitcher so that making lemonade seems possible.
- Mindfulness– a state of active, open attention on the present moment
- Purpose– the recognition that we belong to and serve something bigger than ourselves
- Relationships– By building positive relationships with others, we will be happier and more fulfilled and feel more supported, supportive, and connected
- Self Awareness– having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions
- Self- Care– Active engagement in caring for ourselves, which is unique for everyone
As always, it is our hope that sharing our stories and what’s working for us can help you. Take time to reflect on the ways you’ve had to be resilient and give yourself credit for what you’ve done to get to where you are today. Tune into what’s helped you be resilient, so you continue to build those skills for the next time you face adversity.
IVY UNLEASHED
Take yourself back to your childhood and reflect on all the ways you had to be resilient. As kids, we’re forced to ride the same waves as adults, whether it’s fair or not, and in this episode Gold Ivy went there. Andrea & Brooke share how they got through traumatic experiences, lessons they’ve learned in therapy, and how the resilience they’ve had to build still affects them today. They will walk you through different types of resilience and the importance of learning how we’re hardwired and acknowledging our inner child’s needs that weren’t met. Tune into this episode to hear more of Gold Ivy’s story and gain tools to prepare for adversity when it hits in your life again.
Behind-the-Scenes Video
3 Gold Stars
- Write down 3 experiences in your life that have required you to be resilient.
- Determine who you would go to in desperate times or who can hold space and support you in a way that you need.
- Incorporate a practice this week that you know helps create clarity, calms you, or centers you.
Ivy Reflections
- What hardships have I faced in my life and what lessons have they taught me?
- In the midst of struggle, what helps me push through (people, places, practices)?
- What tendencies have I developed as a child that no longer serve me and I can let go of?
Piece of Gold
Resilient trees can weather a violent storm because their roots are deep and firm.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Resources–
Gabby Bernstein– https://gabbybernstein.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw0K-HBhDDARIsAFJ6UGgKW46rK0XoUj-6a24ZLOJir-jrM7-k_nFtzhg1Ye8vjKeDJmyLapQaAkgNEALw_wcB
What Is Resilience? Your Guide to Facing Life’s Challenges, Adversities, and Crises–https://www.everydayhealth.com/wellness/resilience/
Resilience, an Evolving Concept: A Review of Literature Relevant to Aboriginal Research-https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2956753/
We thank you for joining us in the fearless pursuit of self-discovery and growth and hope that you transform our lessons into your gold.
Listen to your truth and go chase your gold.
– Gold Ivy Health Co.
